New Baby! I am an uncle! Welcome Nathan James Shiells!








In the past week, my brother has had his baby, We welcome Nathan James Shiells, a new edition to the shiells family. I was so welcome him! Good News!

Prayer Request for him that he starts feeding properly with susie, my sister in law!
Other Photos from Dads Camera







A fight for work and a stable life and a godly women!
Have you ever felt that you are an eternal joke, or joke to your family. No matter how much you try, getting work and a stable job seems impossible and a stable relationship. On the same day that Nathan was born, a person that I thought would be a long term relationship broke my heart by being only wanting to have a brother-sister relationship! I have been depressed the whole week, even thou.
I have wanted to live on my own so badly! Have my own house. My original intention was when I left university was to get enough money to pay of my student loan and then go back to uni! but that did not happen!

I have been crying almost every day this week! I feel like an abomination with my Brothers being married! and me not having a stable job! I have applied for jobs I feel like my whole life is a failiure!

All I want to do is go home to heaven!

How my heart travails to find a godly women

Matt 13

1 The same day went Jesus out of the house, and sat by the sea side. 2 And great multitudes were gathered together unto him, so that he went into a ship, and sat; and the whole multitude stood on the shore. 3 And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow; 4 And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up: 5 Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth: 6 And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away. 7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them: 8 But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold. 9 Who hath ears to hear, let him hear. 10 And the disciples came, and said unto him, Why speakest thou unto them in parables? 11 He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given. 12 For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath. 13 Therefore speak I to them in parables: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand. 14 And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias, which saith, By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive: 15 For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them. 16 But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear. 17 For verily I say unto you, That many prophets and righteous men have desired to see those things which ye see, and have not seen them; and to hear those things which ye hear, and have not heard them. 18 Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower. 19 When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side. 20 But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it; 21 Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended. ^F27 22 He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful. 23 But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.

1.
19 When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side.

There are many who first come to church and then go away! They come and then leave the word of God not touching them

2.
20 But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it; 21 Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended

This is the present state among christians especially, when it gets difficult they don't trust and rely on god!
Prayer Request

• For a steady job and a stable relationship(wife)
  
• For  new revival and for more
• Pray that I can fast
  
• Pray that I can get above 11 stone
• Pray that I can have hope for a future and get out of depression
  

Why is it when celebrity's die they are raised to the heights of saints when all they have commmited is wickedness

Lu 16:15 - Show Context

And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.

Why is it when every celebrity dies they are raised to the height of Gods, elvis,princess diana and every celebrity that dies. From this verse we can determine that what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination amonst God! With the recent death of Michael Jackson.

People reply with mere sentiment about his music, forgetting that he had a big case due to child abuse! Are we so foolish on saying that the wicked, the sinners go to Hell!

I mean is it so shocking when they don't. There was a case of a christian in death row in America who lived a life of a christian in jail but she had turned from her sin and had forgiven the people that she had murdered. Yet of most murderers, people would say that they all go to hell, having a man judgement of what men think is good is an abomination in God sight.

We need to save people from Hell as christians

Luke 13:1-5

1 There were present at that season some that told him of the Galilaeans, whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. 2 And Jesus answering said unto them, Suppose ye that these Galilaeans were sinners above all the Galilaeans, because they suffered such things? 3 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. 4 Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners ^F35 above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem? 5 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.

Jesus has no view that people are more perfect than others, he says here unless you all likewise repent you shall all so unless you believe in Jesus and turn from your sin you will all likewise perish!

In the advent of modern christiandom which has forgotton hell! It is not exactly the most popular subject.
Christians are agreeing with the atheists view of men that everyone is going to heaven and it does not matter what you do in this life! If they are a celebrity they go to Heaven because they are popular and in the public media! Ahh isnt that so quaint! or a good person!

Ro 6:23 - Show Context

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

The wages of sin is death, hell if I would like to put it bluntly! So if someone commits one sin and are not washed in the blood of the Lamb which is the Gift of God, Jesus himself they are on that destination for hell!


Overcoming my fear of computers and girls

Lu 1:37 - Show Context

For with God nothing shall be impossible.

I have always considered marriage something impossible in my life, as I did not consider myself attractive enough, so I have been contending with God on this issue. I have been joking with God that was less chance of me getting married than going to Alpha Centuri, at the moment I have never felt so lonely and it is even harder when you are the oldest brother and your other brothers, school friends and people even younger than you are married. You feel like you are on the shelf, worthless!
It is especially hard when you are trying to evangelise on the street and you have non christian girls ask you out.

One problem that I have wanted to overcome is my fear of using the computer more than one day. People think go ahead just do it. You will be ok. This trauma comes from when I jumped out of a 2nd storey window and it seemed like the Devil did want to kill me. Are house was leaking , the shower was bringing up dirt. there was water coming through the kitchen ceiling. I had alot of money out of my account stolen. I was banned from going on the CU houseparty, things were going wrong at church. At that time I thought I was getting married to some missonary girl but she left me. Everyone left me and what was worse I was going home and I had work piling up on me due to the incident with the stealing and the water coming through the ceiling. What was worse was that I was busy during the day with Uni work and with the Cu and with church. The only time I had to do work was at night and because my computer was not capable enough. I had this girl after me who travelled. All the way down from the other side of the city at night to see me. I did not want to see her! As she was making movess on me. I have never considered myself attractive or beautiful in any way. I cannot see why anyone would find me attractive. I have never been out with anyone in my life!  Then there was another one of my housemates who was after me! I used to help people with there uni work, sometimes do whole assignments at a time! plus my work not only on my subject! Anyway there was alot of other things I would go home from university wanting friends or other people to walk with me and noone was there. Jesus was. I know my mind was not working properly , as I was starting to evangelise and was tempted by the devil to jump from the window.
I ended up breaking my ankle and I was not crying. That was the amazing thing. I was glad to be out of the nightmare but still am so missing my university friends. I always wonder about my life. I despise myself not only as a christian for this incident.
I did not finish my degree and as my student loan is alot of money allready. At first I wanted to get enough money and go back and finish my degree but I wanted to live a life 100% for him, maybe be a full time evangelist. God did not grant me to be a full time evangelist.
When jumping out of a window I realise that my whole life could have been at stake. Eternity is very real.
Anyway these two events made me afraid of computers, as it is almost like a demonic attack that I cannot overcome by myself when I go on the computer.
One thing that I was longing for was a christian partner because I need the protection against the lusts of this world, also I have so much love to give! It always go back in my mind if there was one christian girl who was even to have been a girlfriend to me at the time I know I would not have done it !
When applying for jobs I despise myself I so wanted money to support students at the time because at the time we had absolutly no food and no money in the house whatsover. If there was one thing that I wish Jesus could redeem in my life would be this event! I know I have sinned! It is not the event but the repucussions of the event.
Because if I was at uni I would have finished my degree, probably got a good job in computing and still evangelised. I do not even know what to do for the future.

I wish people knew my desire to get married. In school, I was always teesed for not having a gf. I went to a christian school but it was mostly guys and there was only three girls are age. I was not the most attractive, then during college I struggled with Pornography and always degraded myself. I had problems with dribbling and being goofy. Which I was always called in school. I actually went up to great ormond street because of slight learning difficulties that god has overcome in my life!

Then college ,always lonley, then my illness which was in an area which even further degraded my self esteem. Which I thought I was going to be bedridden for the rest of my life as the doctors did not have a clue what was going on. My heart has been broken and shattered so many time. At the time there was a girl I liked who lived down in Portsmouth, who turned from the Faith , yet whilst she was in church I have never see someone love god. She rejected me and Jesus. It still is on my heart even now! I feel like I have been rejected so many times. MY heart is like a broken piece of glass and then the missionary girl. I feel like a girl has left me too long she has gone with someone else!

Lu 1:37 - Show Context

For with God nothing shall be impossible.

This is why this verse is so comforting I look at this verse I think if you can help me get married and not only me and some friends who are considered like this. Single and WOrthless!
Lord if you could get me a partner who I can share how much I love Jesus with and christian music and the bible and everything else. If this is possible then anything is possible. I have the faith that God can do it. I believe he can. I believe a house, a good job and that I can serve my wife in every way. As god calls us to be servants. I do not want my wife to be without all the needs but I struggle and fight with the fact of this one failiure of jumping out of a window! and feeling so unworthy for anyone! as I fight with depression sometimes I even believe that god can heal that!

If with God nothing is impossible I always joke "I have less chance of getting married than going to Alpha Centuri" As Alpha Centuri to get to alpha centuri you need Interstellar Travel it takes  4.23 light years.

"quote from wikipedia "

Interstellar distances

Astronomical distances are often measured in the length of time it would take a beam of light to travel between two points (see lightyear). Light in a vacuum travels approximately 300,000 kilometers per second or 186,000 miles per second.

The distance from Earth to the Moon is 1.3 light-seconds. With current spacecraft propulsion technologies, a trip to the moon will typically take about three days. That means light travels approximately two hundred thousand times faster than current spacecraft propulsion technologies. The distance from Earth to other planets in the solar system ranges from three light-minutes to about four light-hours. Depending on the planet and its alignment to Earth, for a typical unmanned spacecraft these trips will take from a few months to a little over a decade.

The nearest known star to the Sun is Proxima Centauri, which is 4.23 light-years away. The fastest outward-bound spacecraft yet sent, Voyager 1, has covered 1/600th of a light-year in 30 years and is currently moving at 1/18,000th the speed of light. At this rate, a journey to Proxima Centauri would take 72,000 years. Of course, this mission was not specifically intended to travel fast to the stars, and current technology could do much better. The travel time could be reduced to a few millennia using lightsails, or to a century or less using nuclear pulse propulsion (Orion). A better understanding of the vastness of the interstellar distance to one of the closest stars to the sun, Alpha Centauri A (a sun-like star), can be obtained by scaling down the earth-sun distance (150,000,000 km) to one meter. On this scale the distance to that star would be 271 kilometers or about 169 miles.

No current technology can propel a craft fast enough to reach other stars in under 50 years.

Additionally, given that information can travel no faster than the speed of light, it would take years just to receive information from such a probe once it reaches its destination, and even longer if not automatically programmed to carry out actions upon arrival.

However, special relativity offers the possibility of shortening the travel time: if a starship with sufficiently advanced engines could reach velocities approaching the speed of light, relativistic time dilation would make the voyage much shorter for the traveler. However, it would still take many years of elapsed time as viewed by the people remaining on Earth, and upon returning to Earth, the travelers would find that far more time had elapsed on Earth than had for them. (For more on this effect, see twin paradox)

General relativity offers the theoretical possibility that faster than light travel may be possible without violating fundamental laws of physics, for example, via wormholes, although it is still debated whether this is actually possible. Proposed mechanisms for faster than light travel within the theory of General Relativity require the existence of exotic matter."

Basicallly there is no way even in physics to get there at the moment so if God can do the impossible! He can get me married.


Prayer Request

• I have been so desiring a solid christian job which is not spradic
  
• Deeper Prayer Life and longer time with Jesus
  
• A life partner (wife) who I can pray with and share my heart about Jesus with, Someone to protect me on the street from girls who are after me! someone who I can hold hands with! Pray that I can fufill her spritually, physically, finacially, emotionally
  
• Overcome my fear of computer, as I only have one day that I use the computer and feel demonically attacked if I use it another day
• More Evangelism 
• Obey God 100%
• All NIght Prayer Meetings 
• A house or flat, so I am not reliant on my parents all the time and as I am going to the Church in london at the moment it would be more useful more me to commute more locally
  
• A digital camera and photoshop elements, a some more ideas to put verses on tshirts so that sinners can turn to Jesus, I do not want money. I just so want to work in factories in offices so I can spread the gospel there! 
• My Family Relatives saved as we are the only people in our family who are christian
  
• More work for dad
• Pray that I can get the bible on audio and sermons on peoples phones as I am having problems with samsung phones and christian music, As i have such a desire for people in our church and people I know to know the word of god , the bible more
• Pray that I can fast for more than 3 days
• Pray that I can weigh more than 11 stone as I am underweight
  

Selfishness and Pride the sin of Satan that we have to contend with every day! in myself!

Mr 8:34 - Show Context

And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

With the world as it is I hate to note one of the problems of me and this world! Which is we all struggle with selfishness and a desire to obtain things but thanking god for what he has provided needs to be daily!
It must be the cry of paul when he said who can deliver me from this body of death!

Ps 37:4 - Show Context

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

What saddens my heart is the new law recently passed if that you speak out against christianity and the increasing amount and abuse of christians in there workplace because it means less christians can do mission work!
When I tend to pray I sometimes ask god for everything I can think of, because I so want to concentrate on my saviour! I see my selfishness.

Christian Needs,( how one need in one country may affect someone, somewhere else!)

There are so many christians with so many needs around us! I was talking to samuel conway down the town and he was out of work due to a bone disease and is in a wheelchair and is  struggling with his work, then there are numerous people out of work, brian at bridge lane who used to work at Kellogs who has a daughter that needs much prayer. Daniel and Mariette who are out of work.
I have been out of work,

So 3:6 - Show Context

Who is this that cometh out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all powders of the merchant?

This was the passage we learnt when on our weekend away! I know that it touched me so much but I got attacked by the devil. I have been discovering so many wonderful verses on my phone because my phone has a search facility for the bible and I have been so wanting to get it on other peoples phones.

Sorry for that foray into my personal life as I can think of so many people with different needs.

The problem is that all of us affects us all christians as the body in christ is affected in one member is lacking or ill. Money is a vital issue. If you cannot get money to India the people starve because some christians cannot get jobs! Sometimes we need to get a device or a program so we can encourage people.
It may not seem as the blood flow round the body goes to all different parts. We all need each other.

The problem is with all the deception in the church and being through so many church splits and having to move church. I do not what is the church? I have been thinking how persecution, how it stopped the seeds from growing. I am praying that god will get me through a time when you cannot preach the gospel to the sick. As the great physician is not aloud in the NHS or any other of the major british organisations. The madness of not letting the creator into something that he knows more about!

Our money organisations are crying corruption, putting billions of pounds into a sinking ship is stupid. If bankers and politians have lost money before. They are not accountable to anyone but to god! Sin is rift in our culture and in our lives. 

It is strange how most people know the saying God is love, yet refuse to accept that God.
I am predicting what the world would be like if our politians continue on in a perfect situation
Then we have the people who dont want us to say that Jesus is God and he is the only way, because he rose from the dead!  All the other religions cannot save you from sin.

Lets dictate the phrase that say they were true say that Homosexuality is right, Evolution is correct, All the religions leave to God and let us live in harmony as one race, I am not saying that they are true just to argue from the other side lets all join together. Lets join Nation States together to form one global economy. The truthful answer is who is going to rule that economy.

You can imagine a world in which sinners rule the world as one man it would be a nightmare, racism is a product of the fall!
If Homosexuality is correct then what about the next generation as people would be producing less people. The world population would decrease in size. Sexual diseases would become more rampant! There would be no structure in society as adultury and other sins would confuse young children they would not know who was there father or mother or have many fathers and mothers!

Maybe all roads lead to god but then the answer is which one ? As all cannot be true? You only have one route to here to London! The acid test proves negative?

If the world continues as it is rejecting the love of Jesus what to turn them back to the one who can rescue them from themselves! and me! As his grace is sufficient through the precious blood to turn to him!

Love sick
I know I have been love sick, I think I am in love with lou as I like to be with her but as I do not know what love really is?

Prayer Request
Work
Wife
Lou
That I will



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